Of all of the Zander's ideas, I think the concept of not blaming others, or yourself, for things that don't go the way you'd like is probably the most challenging. I don't know if it is a cultural thing or just a human thing to assign blame, however, we seem to start doing it pretty young. The fine difference in thinking that Ben Zander speaks of when he says we should be the board, not the chess piece, takes some practice.
As always, the Zanders made me really think about how a person could change their mindset in this way. When Ben Zander speaks of apologizing, he does it in a completely different way than I, at least, am used to. I think it is a good idea to apologize to others when we've offended or hurt them. But Ben's approach also includes not blaming himself. In the letter he wrote where he gave himself an A, he admitted his faults but didn't really say he was sorry to the violinist directly. He also didn't ask her to come back to the orchestra, although she did.
As usual, I spent some time thinking about how this might apply to working with the at-risk teens in our program. If, as Zander says, this approach allows you to turn relationships into effective partnerships, how might that work at our alternative high school? Right now, we are planning a totally different concept for next year. Rather than teaching in our own little boxes, the English teacher, the math/science teacher, and I (social studies/computers teacher), are going to team teach using a project based learning model. We are especially interested in building relationships with the teens who enroll in our program. Reading Zander's thoughts about "being the board" really fits the conversation about how to build good relationships with our new students.
I'm a creative person, so I really liked the thrust of Chapter 11. I think most people are happiest when they are creating. There is a special energy that fills you up when you are working in synergy with others, making something new and different and exciting. I think my colleagues and I feel that way, when we are not being distracted by things that seem to have gone wrong at school or are trying to find someone to blame for the situation. Hmmmm. I am glad we are reading this book at school. I think a shift in a positive direction would be very good right about now.
Response:
As always I have enjoyed your reflections and views on the readings for the week. It was a ‘heavier’ week than the others with blame, apologizing, being the board and such being not just meaty in content – but in what they mean to us. I agree with you that the way Ben Zander speaks of apologizing is different than what it has meant for me in my life, so to with regard to blame and those aspects he mentions. There is always that drive to blame – but the situations that resolve themselves the best are where time is not wasted in that direction but instead on pushing to complete what needs to be done. I am also inspired by your direct application of this reading into your unique work environment with the project based learning model! That should be one awesome journey – hopefully you will get some rest from the equally awesome EMDT journey! ;)
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